DRACULA 2000

SYNOPSIS:
Antique magnate Matthew Van Helsing (Plummer) hides a great secret in the basement vault of his London gallery. When his gorgeous secretary Solina (Esposito) and a roughneck team of thieves crack the vault – hoping to find hidden riches – all they can steal is a single silver coffin. Little do they know Van Helsing has been guarding the crypt of Dracula himself for 100 years. Not only is Van Helsing now on their trail, they unwittingly unleash Dracula (Butler) on New Orleans, where Van Helsing’s virginal daughter Mary (Waddell) lives. Only his trusted assistant Simon (Lee Miller) has the guts – and the weapons – to protect Mary from the Dracula’s dreaded dripping fangs.

"After Sherlock Holmes and Napoleon, Count Dracula is the most frequently portrayed fictional character in motion picture history. But wait a minute, what if it's not fiction at all and Bram Stoker's novel was based on terrible true circumstances just waiting to be repeated. That's the idea behind this miserable attempt to bring Drac into the new millennium. With its already stale title (Hammer Films had the same problem when Dracula AD 1972 hit most markets the following year), Dracula 2000 tries a couple of twists on the legend but can't overcome a clunky script, shonky special effects, dire casting decisions and terrible performances. Looking like a washed up rock star from the 80s, Gerard Butler is one of the least sexy Draculas ever seen. Try not to giggle as he saunters through the Virgin (get it!) megastore in New Orleans while the pretty young things swoon at the raw power (!!) of his sexuality. The object of his affections is played by similarly charisma-challenged Justine Waddell, who's done splendid work in Mansfield Park and Anna Karenina but is sorely miscast here as Drac's dream date. Even the "brides of Dracula" trio disappoint with their less than alluring demeanour and wardrobe selections. The worst offender is Jonny Lee Miller who is embarrassing as Van Helsing's loyal assistant. In his defence it does look like editor-turned director Patrick Lussier has told Miller to play it straight in some scenes and camp it up in others, leaving us with a hero who one moment is firing silver bullets (from Van Helsing's very impressive custom built gun it must be said) and dumb one-liners the next. The only dignity is offered by veteran Christopher Plummer whose previous experience playing Van Helsing equivalent Catalano in Nosferatu In Venice (1986) adds a touch of class missing everywhere else. There's certainly no class in the make-up effects; the veins on the vampire's faces looks suspiciously like blue ballpoint pen and their fangs resemble those novelty shop plastic teeth that cost about a dollar. This film is advertised as "Wes Craven Presents". The key word is "presents", because he has presented his long-serving editor Patrick Lussier with a reward for loyalty dating back to A Nightmare On Elm St. Unfortunately he also presents us with a dull interpretaion of a classic tale that made me wish those pesky kids had never raided Van Helsing's vault in the first place."
Richard Kuipers