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Urban Cinefile sent intrepid interviewer Andrew L. Urban on location for this exclusive conversation with the biggest star of them all, Spino Saurus, one of the sophisticated, smart - and deadly - dinosaurs in Jurassic Park III. They had a chat at the catering tent... it ended badly.

The scientists – both the real Jack Horner and Sam Neill’s fictional Dr Alan Grant – make you sound like some sort of dinosaur version of Dr Hannibal Lecter. Are you comfortable with that image?
Dear boy, I don’t need to worry about my image. Or even think about it. Image is something you need when you’re short of stature. Or if you care about what people think of you... you won’t mind if I have the last olive?

It’s a bit weird talking to a dinosaur; until this movie, I didn’t know about that vocalisation chamber that enables dinosaurs to communicate.
Yes, well it’s a bit like Catholics and heaven: they think they’re the only ones up there. Humans also think they’re the only ones with an education. But as you know, dolphins and whales communicate fluently, and birds sing. The point is, what’s there to say? As far as I’m concerned, humans talk too much.

What sort of things do dinosaurs say to each other?
Very focused. We waste no breath on niceties. Things like “eat him” or “lousy script”. My sparring partner, T Rex, once told a joke. Nobody laughed. Sometimes I mention the war. I’ll just finish this piece of quiche...

In Jurassic Park III you essentially play yourself...
Yes, but a dumbed down version. For example, I don’t get to eat with a knife and fork. I am not seen sharing sophisticated anecdotes with Steven Spielberg.

Is it true that your contract stipulates a pink bathroom in your trailer?
That’s a lie. A rumour started by the producers after my agent explained I was not to do more than two takes per scene. Nice nuts...

Will you be doing any more movies?
Yes, but not in any sequels. I believe my management is in negotiation for the lead role in Planet of the Dinosaurs, in which I would play the leader of the dinosaurs who rule the planet, and humans are servants, slaves, scum...

You seem to have a low opinion of humans...
If there is any misunderstanding or doubt, I am obviously not making myself sufficiently clear: humans are scum. Excuse me while I nibble your toes...

Published August 30, 2001

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Socially sophisticated and intelligent, as paleontologist Dr Alan Grant (Sam Neill) point out, certain dinosaurs – like the giant star of Jurassic Park III, Spinosaurus, could vocalise and communicate with each other. And, says real life paleontologist and Jurassic Park advisor Jack Horner: “My hypothesis is that T Rex was actually a scavenger rather than a killer. Spinosaurus was really the predatory animal.”

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