ON THE LINE

SYNOPSIS:
Kevin (Lance Bass) is a sweet advertising junior who just can't seem to get it right with girls. From his days in high school, his relationships have been marked by an inability to say just the right thing - so now he pretty much says nothing at all. But one day on his way home on the L train from his Chicago office, he meets a girl (Emmanuelle Chriqui) who seems perfect. Unfortunately, his curse strikes again and the girl leaves without giving him her name or number. This time, Kevin decides to take action, and puts up posters around the city seeking the girl. This piques not only the interest of a newspaper, but of Kevin's friends Rod (Joey Fatone), Eric (Gregory Qayium) and Randy (James Bulliard).

Review by David Edwards:
Let's put it this way - there are bad movies, really bad movies, and there's On the Line. This vehicle for 'N Sync singer Lance Bass is possibly the most clichéd, inane and just plain dull movie so far this year. Although the film is clearly aimed at a teen audience, that certainly doesn't excuse its stunning banality. I mean, it's one thing to cater to a teen audience, but it's quite another to treat them like idiots as the script by Eric Aronson and Paul Stanton does. We're treated to a plot which basically boils down to a guy wooing a girl by reciting the names of all the US presidents in order (ooh baby), but not thinking to ask for her name; then spending the next few weeks trying ever more ridiculous ways to find her. There's something in there about living your dream and taking chances, but I think I might have missed it in between belly laughs at the appalling dialogue, bad acting and moronic scenarios. And that's not even getting to the woeful production values, bad dubbing and Joey Fatone's wardrobe. In fact, the unintentional laughs and a passable performance from Emmanuelle Chriqui as the girl on the L are about the only things that stopped me from walking out on this. Chriqui aside, the acting in this film makes Ben Affleck's turn in Pearl Harbor look like the work of Olivier. Bass goes through the film living up to his name, with a glassy-eyed stunned mullet expression fixed on his dial, while Joey Fatone comes across like a nerdy version of Eminem (without the language of course). It seems to even infect more experienced hands like Jerry Stiller and Dave Foley. If you decide to subject yourself to On the Line, I'm sure it will live in your memory - as one of those movies that you can trump your friends with when they say, "I saw this movie, and it was so bad".