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CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN: SOUNDTRACK

Review by Brad Green:
I suspect this soundtrack isnít targeted at me. When I last gazed in the mirror the face staring back looked decidedly like an unshaven, thirty-something freelance writer in need of a double strength coffee prior to attempting to wrangle something eloquent out of a word processor. Which is a long way from, say, an angst ridden teen-queen dizzy with the daily drama of having to choose the right wardrobe, the perfect make-up and the coolest circle of friends. So Iím pleased to announce that while, understandably, not a single track of this pop-rock compilation hit me where I live, I didnít find it at all painful to sit through.

Four of itís fourteen tracks feature vocals by Lindsay Lohan, who also stars in the filmís title role, and three of these could be regarded as qualified successes. The tunes are as bright as a teen queenís lipstick, and despite some ersatz Madonna elements -- a feeble Vogue-esq rap in the title cut and a direct melodic rip of Papa Donít Preach in another -- they do boast oodles of catchy hooks, punchy if overly processed guitar and slick drumming. More unfortunate is Lohanís attempt at an ambitious medley, which exposes some dire pitching problems as soon as the melodies become more challenging and the production less forgiving.†

Of the rest, quite a few cuts threaten to rise above adequate but all are ultimately compromised in one way or another. Lillixís Tomorrow has an intriguing psychedelic intro, which develops into an impressive full-bore rock number until it is let down by the fact that the lead vocals, rich and powerful in the verses, thin out badly as they strain at the higher notes of the chorus. And Simple Planís Perfect is a decent ballad that likewise suffers in the vocal department. The frontman actually has a fine voice, if only heíd exhale it through the mouth instead of falling victim to the execrable fad of filtering the tune through his honker. Nasal twang seems to be all the rage for expressing adolescent anomie, and I can only say that it does help me feel the pain.

Nevertheless, considering the context, this is quite a reasonable batch of processed pop. Canít say I didnít got some enjoyment from it one time through. Canít say itís going to make to make my regular play pile, but it might have done if I were a decade or two younger and more concerned with whether thereís anything in my wardrobe hip enough to make me popular than whether my caffeine intake is sufficient to keep me coherent.

Published July 22, 2004

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REVIEWS

TITLE: Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen
ID: 2061624422
Walt Disney/FMR
ARTISTS: Lindsay Lohan; Cherie; Atomic Kitten; Simple Plan; Lillix; Superchic[k]; Nicky Cleary; fan_3; Alexis; Wakefield; Diffuser
TRACKS: 14







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